Although it may be painful to learn that your partner has been unfaithful, most people would prefer to know the truth rather than live in denial.
People hire private investigators because it is their profession to look into rumours of infidelity or actual suspicions of one’s partner having an affair.
Because they specialise in finding dishonest people, private investigators are well-versed in the telltale signs that someone is concealing information.
We talked to a top private investigator who used to be a federal agent about the telltale signs that your partner is cheating, the signs to look out for that might not be as obvious, and when to start freaking out.
Tom Martin claimed to The Independent that dishonest people always behave in the same ways.
Martin, president of Martin Investigative Services in Newport Beach, California, wrote the book Seeing Life through Private Eyes, in which he lists the 20 most telling clues that may indicate infidelity, based on his observations of similar signs over the course of 40 years.
Even if you spot a few of them, he says, there’s no need to panic even though they’re fairly blatant. For Martin, however, seeing four or more is tantamount to admitting your partner is guilty.
He told us the most obvious warning signs include things like increased work hours, business travel, decreased sexual activity, and increased defensiveness.
If your partner suddenly starts making efforts to look and feel better, like joining a gym or buying new clothes, they may have someone other than themselves in mind.
Every couple goes through ups and downs, so spotting one or two of these signs may not be cause for suspicion; however, “if you have three or four, you have a problem,” he assured us.
Proficient private investigators can often uncover evidence of adultery.
According to Martin, one of the most significant signs is intuition, as people can usually always tell when a significant other is not being 100 percent truthful.
- Modifying Practices
- Spending the day out and about and coming home late
- Travel for business
- Caused by time off for vacation or family events
- Long hours of overtime
- Miscellaneous expenses
- Hidden records (Instagram, email)
- Invisible credit card statements
- The Need for More Bathing
- The odour of another person (typical lipstick on the collar)
- Unseen presents Condoms in the car are a dead giveaway Buying presents without seeing them
- Going to the gym regularly
- Unknown missed phone calls
- Messages sent via text message that are either coded or secret
- We need less erotica
- Reluctance to commit or evasion
- Clear deceptions
- Possessing a sharp temper
- Ugh, I despise unannounced guests (your unexpected arrival may come at an inopportune time for a cheater)
Some emotional cues can be felt even if a partner shows no outward signs of attraction.
Martin told us that in today’s era of technology, most people can confirm their fears on their own, with less need for private investigators.
It’s a whole new ball game now,” Martin said. And technology is the sole explanation for this.”
Martin claims that the signs are universal, but that it’s now as simple as using a phone or accessing an iCloud account to catch a thief.
People are “catching them themselves” after witnessing their partners sneak away for a late-night phone call or hiding a text message, he said.
Fear and hasty judgement, Martin cautions, can “jeopardise a valuable relationship over what may be unfounded anxieties.”
If you suspect your partner is being unfaithful, looking for as few as one or as many as four of these signs could put your mind at ease. You could also consult a professional.
When this article was first released in August of 2020,